Thursday, October 28, 2010

I've Learned Something

One day after lunch I was standing by my classroom door waiting for my students to come in with the other staff.  It just so happened I had a friend working next door.  She too was waiting for a class to do hearing screenings.  I greeted her and we talked a bit.  She asked me why I didn't get certified so I could work full-time as a teacher.  My immediate response was, "I don't like working!" For some reason I felt a tinge of regret in that statement.  I mean, work is important.  I guess I'm just not use to getting paid for it.

Soon after I greeted my class as they filed in from taking their walk.  I thought, "These students and para-educators would feel very sad if they heard me say, I don't like being here."  On the contrary, I love filling in for the teacher of this particular class and I have other classes too where the kids are all about me and their student aides are happy to see me too.

How could I say, I don't like working?  I've thought about it.  Working outside of the home has been a big adjustment for me.  I guess I'm still not over it.  There is this thought in the  back of my mind, I shouldn't be here.  Well of course, a mother's place is in the home.  And I have bent over backwards, for oh so many years, to stay there.  I was comfortable with my motherly state of service.  But, I know women are in a position to serve in many, many, ways. I volunteered in my children's classrooms for 25 years. Little did I know I was gaining work experience. One day I realized I needed to step up to the plate as part of my motherly duties and become gainfully employed.  We needed it. DRAT this economy! With my degree in-hand, CBEST (California Basic Educational Skills Test) scores, and the experience I have had as a mother, classroom volunteer, callings in Primary for nearly 20 years; I stood prepared to be a substitute teacher.

I've talked about it before.  I have worked all my life, but this has definitely been an adjustment entering the workforce again after over 30 years and becoming a paid employee again.  I'm sure many people are thinking, "What's with all the drama?  Get over it already!  Cash the check and move on!" But it hasn't been easy.  It has definitely jostled my life.

Heavenly Father has helped me.  I've been trying to find balance through all of this and it has been coming.  I'm more accepting of my situation as I have realized my work is service - a paid service.  Especially having teachers call me back with the idea that they would like me to be the one to care for their class in their absence.

I'm not a perfect sub, but I am a sub who loves children and wants the best for them.  I want to be of service to them and their teachers.  So, I guess I can finally say it, with confidence, "I like working!"  And,  it helps when I get nice notes from teachers like Ms. Miller:

Thanks again for all you do.
I never worry
when you are there.

"Every sister who stands for truth and righteousness diminishes the influence of evil. Every sister who strengthens and protects her family is doing the work of God. Every sister who lives as a woman of God becomes a beacon for others to follow and plants seeds of righteous influence that will be harvested for decades to come. Every sister who makes and keeps sacred covenants becomes an instrument in the hands of God."

Elder M. Russell Ballard,
“Women of Righteousness,”
Ensign, Apr 2002, 66–73

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